The days of humility and decency are gone, ascending in a plume of wildfire smoke:
“I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament,” Woods reportedly wrote. “I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f–ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that.”
That gem of a quote was from Tiger Woods, about a dream he shared with one of his mistresses. Do I care? Nope. Does it make one shred of difference in how I live my life? Not in the least. Is it his personal business? Absolutely. So, why are we privy to it? Because this tabloid tale whets the appetites of those pushing the boundaries of good taste. It scores high ratings and huge page views. And it feeds our appetites for the destruction of real journalism.
There are no benefits to letting psychos and characters dominate the twenty-four hour news cycle, yet we let them do it. We relinquish our grasp on pertinent issues that affect hundreds of millions of lives– to indulge in the babbling and misanthropic antics of those wishing for their moment of clarity. What the McNeil-Lehrer News Hour had done to elevate intelligent dialogue– and provide pivotal information– shows such as Tila Tequila’s One Shot at Love has torn those notions from the fabric of our consciousness.
What do I care about Jon and Kate? They’re paid millions of dollars to preen, and expose their children to the horrors of their own demented egos. Shouldn’t we all be focused on real problems, faced by real people? Real people who’ll never have the pleasure of depositing a check from the Learning Channel.
We are an immediate gratification society. I realize I’m breaking no new ground with that statement, but it always bears repeating in these instances. We are torture porn voyeurs, thirsty for any juicy tidbit in the strewn about garbage cans of Tiger Woods and the Octomom. Is it even possible to quantify the energy it must take checking anything Perez Hilton conjures up with his porcine fingers?
We are approaching DefCon five here people. When the top google searches after President Obama’s speech on Afghanistan last Tuesday were Meridith Baxter coming out of the closet, and Tiger Woods– you know we have serious problems. Nobody seems to care about our men and women going off to war. They care more about Tiger’s wood. Shameless.
(Editor’s note: That last sentence was pretty shameless, as well as easy. I apologize. It seemed like a good way to end though.)
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