You Didn’t Want Divorce — Now What?

The Board Room

Unwanted DivorceWhen a marriage ends, the feeling of rejection is only natural. Looking back, you never saw this coming. When you said your vows years ago, you thought only death would keep you apart. But your spouse wants out, even if you don’t want to.

The basket of emotions varies: from shock to shaken cores, you will experience self-defeating thoughts.

Divorce is a long and painstaking process. You’ll have to meet with reliable lawyers from Townsville, talk to the kids, break the news to family and friends, and do other divorce-related stuff. The entire ordeal can be exhausting and draining.

Sometimes, you cannot help but think, ‘I don’t deserve this; I never wanted this in the first place’.

Fortunately, there is still a way out. The question is, are you willing to go through it?

Acceptance of Reality

The grieving process begins when you accept the truth: what you want to happen no longer will. Acceptance, however, faces challenges such as ‘inner voices’ determined to destroy your self-esteem. The inner critic insists you cannot survive on your own and that no one will love you in the future.

Feelings of rejection happen during the acceptance stage. Part of the healing process requires recognition of your feelings; do not dissuade them, but do not dwell on them either. Learn to accept what happened and love yourself again.

Deal with Rejection and Guilt

Partners who terminate the marriage often experience the worst side of the guilt, but sometimes, even the person left behind dwells in such feelings. The dumped spouse might re-evaluate their performance – was it their fault the marriage ended? In some cases, they blame themselves for their ordeal.

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It’s their entire fault, they say.

Dwelling in guilt and rejection, however, does more harm than good. Once you have accepted the reality, it is time to build a plan. What is your next step?

This Is Your Life

Unwanted divorces happen – it’s a fact. Try to stay as positive as you can. Start by adopting a mindset of knowing yourself better after the separation. Be open to new interests, experiences or hobbies you could not pursue when you were married. Also, be with people who can support you through the divorce.

You never wanted this to happen, that’s for sure. But now, it’s time to move forward and make the things you want to happen actually happen.